What does it mean to be an ally and support trans folk?
An ally is someone who stands up for fair and equal treatment of groups they aren’t personally part of. It’s about using the safety, power, and privilege you have as a cis-gendered person to take actions to make society more inclusive and equal. Being an ally takes ongoing effort. It’s not a label you can simply claim; it’s a commitment you show through consistent support and actions.
So what can you do as a UHI student?
Educate yourself.
It’s okay not to know everything, but it’s NOT okay to use your ignorance as an excuse or to make your trans friends be your educators. One way or another, we all have access to the internet and there are a lot of great resources to help you gain a better understanding about the prejudice and persecution faced by trans folks. But if you force your trans friends to do the research and education for you, you just create one more inequality for them to overcome. Also, remember, there are lots of things about gender that are none of your business. If you have questions, try asking the internet before interrogating others. See the end of the article for resources to help you educate yourself and others.
Listen.
When trans and gender-diverse people choose to tell you about their experiences, understandings, or struggles, listen to them. They’re the experts on their own lives, and what is true for one person may not be true for another. Trans and gender-diverse people don’t need to match your expectations or fit into a box. Respecting a person means respecting their individual, specific experiences. By listening to and accepting others’ experiences, you give them space to have their own voice.
Respect names and pronouns.
Always use the name and pronouns that an individual introduces themself with. A great way to be an ally is to introduce yourself with your own name and pronouns—this normalizes the idea that you can’t assume someone’s pronouns based on the way they look. If you don’t know someone’s pronouns, and you don’t want to ask, just refer to them by their name and by gender-neutral language. Never ask someone for their dead name or for their biological sex- those aren’t your business! Drop the use of the word ‘preferred’ in regard to gender, pronouns and name. By adding preferred it suggests a choice and it isn’t or that there are other options which there are not. If you make a mistake, just apologize and move on.
Respect confidentiality.
Do not reveal someone’s trans or gender-diverse status without their permission/consent (known as “outing”). Don’t share their stories or use them as an example without explicit permission. Gender is a very personal experience and being an ally means you respect that person’s right to decide what they want others to know.
Challenge transphobic behaviour and language.
There are lots of reasons why a trans and gender-diverse person may not feel comfortable challenging transphobia— they may feel unsafe already and not want to attract attention, they may be suffering from past trauma, or they may not feel like anyone cares. Allies should use their relative safety and power to stand up for others. If you witness transphobic behavior or language at UHI, report it through the Red Button or our Advice service.
Support their choice of bathroom.
Advocate for gender-neutral facilities and support businesses that already have them in place. Where gender-neutral facilities are not in place, then trans folks should be able to use the facility that corresponds to their gender identity without fear of reprisal, violence, or judgement. Support your trans and gender-diverse friends by offering to accompany them in situations where they may feel uncomfortable.
Remember your rights.
All students are responsible for abiding by the UHI Student Code of Conduct. This means that every UHI student has the right to attend courses and social activities in an inclusive environment free of transphobia.
Resources for allies: